My thoughts. You don’t have to read.
Sometimes i like to just vent. At the end of the day, I take my makeup off and brush my teeth and stare in the mirror for a while. I tell myself daily what I don’t like, and it’s mainly things that I can’t change. It’s not healthy, but I guess I just feel that I am not like a lot of people my age. I feel like I worry more, and that I care too much, or I get really emotionally invested in the relationships I have. But they all start, I never see a future with any of them because i leave before I can do that. And mainly I think that’s because I’ve been on the back burner my whole life. My family situation is complicated, and I don’t feel worthy of much when it comes to them, so maybe thats why I don’t commit. Cause I think to myself, “who’s gonna love this?” yeah I feel pretty confident sometimes when I put makeup on and heels, but that’s not how I want to be loved. I want to be loved by the way the sun hits my eyes or the way that my smile lights up a room. Something. But that’s not what I see ever in myself. And that’s never really how my life plays out for me. Maybe one day though.
